


where did my baby go?

by poisonouslilviper



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Denial of Feelings, M/M, Post-Canon, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-14 14:46:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29047878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poisonouslilviper/pseuds/poisonouslilviper
Summary: Bucky returns to their old neighbourhood to feel closer to Steve.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	where did my baby go?

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by the song Coney Island by Taylor Swift ft. The National and some of the lines are directly tied to those lyrics.

Bucky came back here whenever he could find the time. Their old neighbourhood. Much had changed in the last 80 odd years, but he would always be able to find traces of his past. Traces of home. Being back here forced him to face the fact that he was alone. His parents, his sisters, old friends – all long dead. There should have been nothing here for him anymore.  
Except.  
When he came here, it almost felt like Steve was right there beside him. And feeling that - feeling him - made the pain of being here worth it.

He took a seat on a bench that directly faced one of the many alleys where he’d once saved Steve from getting his ass kicked. Back when they were young and innocent. When Bucky had looked at his best friend and thought that this was his person. Not any of the beautiful dames he would take dancing, it was Steve that he wanted to spend his time with. But that was a different time, and so he had never actually let himself think about what it meant.

Reflecting on it now, he was pretty sure that Steve had felt the same. That it was the reason he would get a soft flush on his cheeks when they would practice dancing in their tiny apartment. Why his asthma would act up sometimes after he’d been looking at him. Why Steve would be grumpy for days if Bucky had brought a girl home. But they had both left it unsaid. Even in the future when it was okay to feel that way about another man, neither one of them acknowledged it.

And that was one thing Bucky would play over and over in his head. If saying something could have stopped him from leaving. If he lost him because he was too cowardly to admit that he was in love with Steven Grant Rogers.

But maybe it wouldn’t have been enough regardless. Maybe all those years of fighting, of trying to save him from Hydra, putting his life on the line for the world. Maybe it had pushed him to the edge. Had shattered something important inside him. And that was what had caused him to leave.

The thing was, he could stop torturing himself and ask. But he could not bring himself to visit the stranger in that rest home. He couldn’t look at his best friend, the man he loved, and not be reminded of the life he chose for himself. The one without Bucky in it.

He noticed that the sun was getting lower in the sky and the temperature had dropped considerably. He hated the cold, all those years of being put on ice had ruined it for him. He guessed it was probably about time he headed home anyway.

After all, even though he felt closer to him here, his Steve was happy, living his life in a different time. A universe away.

And Bucky was here, alone and wondering.


End file.
